I like to read books so that I look smart in the subway, make myself feel smarter when I am reading 8 million ways to be SUPER HOT in Cosmo, or so that I can pretend J.K. Rowling isn’t my favorite author on my OkCupid bio. Which… WTF JK, you are ruining love for me during this steamy month?
My latest read was “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. I was ready to be full of interesting new things to talk about on my next OkCupid date, but alas, my next suitor will think I’m a cynical robot because I HATE THIS BOOK. I don’t know how I got through it, when she says things like, “Over the course of the month, I noticed that a frequent subject of my negative comments was Eliza’s [her daughter] hair.” She spends at least 2 pages speaking about how her 7-year-old daughter won’t brush her hair. Is that real?
I treacherously got through the book and decided to check Amazon to see if other people were pissed they spent 7.98 on this stupid novel. THEY WEREN’T. People are thrilled with this book! However, there were some very angry people just like me who did even more research and found out that this Gretchen Rubin is married to a man who is worth billions of dollars. No wonder she is upset with her daughters’ hair.
Don’t read the book.