Recently I was rummaging through the kind of stores that I only go in to hoping to be in the back of someone’s street-style photo when I realized how confused I was about hoop earrings.
Here I was, looking at $450 dollar halos you stick through the barbaric holes you put in your own body, when I thought to myself… doesn’t Jwoww, the queen of class, wear a lot of hoop earrings? So I asked the uncomfortably over-dressed sales man, we will call him Cyrus, about his philosophy on them. I referenced the Real Housewives and their classy assortment of diamond diameters, swearing I only watched it when I was incredibly hung-over, (he told me he had never see it, and he is a liar) but he couldn’t clear up the controversy of the hoops. Do your parents have to invent Toaster Strudel to wear them, or do clear bra straps and too many animal prints give it the go? Please. Someone, help me find the way.
P.S. if you google “cross dressing basketball player in hoop earrings” (I couldn’t remember Dennis Rodman’s name, judge me) Venus and Serena show up! Thanks Google for the inspiration!